failure

here i am again telling myself to try.
try to be better, to find something better
to lose weight, to be happier... i don't know what i was thinking.
i want to be successful, thinner, happier.
and yet i can't even dig deep
into myself and find the motivation.
at first it was pretty easy.
now i can't seem to juggle my hobbies with working out and being with my boyfriend
in one day considering there's 5 1/2 hours for me to do it in.

i'm a failure at a lot of things at this point.
it's pretty upsetting actually.
i want to be a better person, i'm actually worse now.
i want to be thinner, i quit insanity today.
i want to be happier, but i can't find it in myself to change it.
this is the year of the dragon. my year.
funny thing is- with my luck this will be a bad year.
i can only hope for the best. keep in touch.

insanity pt. 02

today is the marker, one month ago i started insanity.
actually i'm behind a couple of days...
a week and a half because i was too tired and all.
the first time i did this program i lost a lot of weight...
and to tell you the truth i kind of half-assed this session.
oh well, i still have time to be better. i'm only human.
my other results are from 04 december 2011.
listed as 'insanity'.
here are the results as of 07 january 2012:

height - 4'11"
weight = 119lbs

bust = 34
mid-section = 33
hips/butt = 37

i lost 1/2 an inch on my waist and i lost 1 pound overall.
i will definitely try harder in the next couple days!

hopefully my next and final results aren't too bad.
maybe i'll actually diet a little bit...
it's never been so hard to lose weight for me.
i mean i'm working out almost everyday.
i guess i'm not getting any younger... this metabolism sucks! lol.

a new year

excuse the photo, it was taken on our iphone in the dark.
and excuse the hair because after all, we were in the windy city! :)

hello lovelies! happy 2012!

this year started off perfectly.
chris and i went to chicago
for new year's eve.
it was the first time in 3 years that we celebrated it together!
we did tons and tons of shopping... my fav! ;)
and we went to see fireworks at the navy pier at midnight.
it was really fun, but it was sooooo cold!
oh and i got my kiss, too!

it was just a mini vacation for us,
but i think i needed it.
just to be away for awhile was relaxing.
(minus the traffic!)
i hope that having this good start to the new year brings lots of good karma...
i'm ready to face my challenges and reach my goals.
sure i might fail, but everyday is another chance, another day, another week, another month and another year.
i can't say i didn't go down without a fight.

"chicago was wonderful. strolling around downtown with your hand in mine and a little bit of snowflakes drifting. i think i fell in love all over again. ♥" -- my facebook status at 9:32pm, on 01 january 2012