failure

here i am again telling myself to try.
try to be better, to find something better
to lose weight, to be happier... i don't know what i was thinking.
i want to be successful, thinner, happier.
and yet i can't even dig deep
into myself and find the motivation.
at first it was pretty easy.
now i can't seem to juggle my hobbies with working out and being with my boyfriend
in one day considering there's 5 1/2 hours for me to do it in.

i'm a failure at a lot of things at this point.
it's pretty upsetting actually.
i want to be a better person, i'm actually worse now.
i want to be thinner, i quit insanity today.
i want to be happier, but i can't find it in myself to change it.
this is the year of the dragon. my year.
funny thing is- with my luck this will be a bad year.
i can only hope for the best. keep in touch.