28 May 2014

learning [in more ways than one]

a few weeks ago i completed my first
semester back to school
in about
six or seven years. yeah, yeah, i
know... finally. it took me long enough.

i was fresh out of high school and accepted into
isu the following summer, it all happened too fast.

i took a 'break' from school because
i didn't feel like i was really ready for it.
in actuality, i probably never will be.
but, i thought about things and said to
myself, 'get your sh!t together!'
i thought that maybe, just maybe, going this
past semester would make me change my mind.
nope. i still feel the same way i did the
first time around.
i. don't. want. to. go.

i didn't do as well as i hoped i would. an
a, b, and c isn't bad, but i wanted more.

i expected more from myself. but at least i didn't fail.

it's bad but i already want to give up. part
of me wants to keep fighting
but the other
part is telling me that's it's a waste of
money and time.
school isn't hard or anything
i just don't have that same fight in me anymore.
it's so hard to explain. everything is always
so complicated it seems.

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