full speed ahead

i'm sure i've said this many times,
but i swear everything that
could possibly happen to me, always
happens all at one time.
let me breath, darn you!

right now, i'm sitting on two
presentations and a job interview
currently. with the end of the semester nearing
i swear that life is
trying to give me a panic attack!
and i just might get one because good god!
i can't handle it all!

i'm trying to take things one step at
a time. as my wonderful husband
says to me more times than i
can count on my fingers and toes,
one. step. at. a. time.
or can i say one moment at a time?
it's the best worse advice ever. lol.

i started this morning with as
much happiness as i could muster, driving to work,
a song that i love came on-- and that
just changed my mood.
i know i've been upset and moody lately.
i know i need to change something.
i'm going to try to keep my head up.
it's really all i have let to give a try.
and something like that isn't that hard.

today, i walked through campus
and this time, i took my time and i
looked at everything around me.
i didn't rush home like i usually do.
it was a beautiful, sunny, day. it was
a great small piece of therapy/victory for me.

i need to go for it all full speed ahead.

balance

i'm struggling with finding the
right balance in my life.

i am honestly starting to feel
beaten down and discouraged about it.

i know that i shouldn't complain
because i don't have it as bad
as some people probably do.
but, there comes a time when a
girl just can't deal.

i just feel like that one saying,
"one step forward, two steps back."
i want to move forward, is that too much?
am i jumping ahead?
but when i finally feel certain
and finally feel i'm moving forward,
i end up few few paces behind instead.

my husband always says that i
need to take it one day at a time
and yes, i wish i could, because that
is probably the best thing i can do.
but, i can't. i'm a worrier.

i can't seem to pinpoint the issue.
it's probably me.
should i take a step back?
i can't live minute by minute.
i don't know what to do.
i'm off balance.