one step forward

you know that saying,
'one step forward, two steps back'

i've always been familiar with the
quote, but i've never really felt a
connection with it before... until now. and oh
boy, it is one of thee most
frustrating feelings ever in life.
[aside from an itch you can't reach]!

sometimes i feel like i'm progressing
at a good pace, not as fast as i want, but
as we know all good things take time.
but once i'm thinking, 'yeah! go me!
moving in the right direction!'
some life force has to happen and i'm being
set back a few paces.

i want to feel like i'm going somewhere
in life, you know? but most days i feel like
i'm running around and around chasing my tail
and not realizing that it will get me nowhere.
it's not that i'm not trying,
i'm looking for ways to improve in every
aspect that i deem needs improvement.
but still it's to no avail.

i'm trying to be positive, though it
has really tested me. i lost a lot
of hope and a lot faith in myself and some
of the peers i work with. [it's a really long
story]. but again, i'm hoping. and trying
to keep my head above the water.

soon i'll be saying, 'i made it one step forward.'