13 November 2011

far beyond a comfort zone

sorry to everyone since i haven't been around lately.
as some of you know,
i did start my new job last monday.
my full time job, that is! ha!
i've only worked for 4 days last week because of veteran's day and it still kicked my ass. :(
i got a pretty big reality check accepting this job that's for sure...

i'm still so very new that i don't know if i can say i like it or dislike it.
tomorrow is still a training day. it's at the main building where i won't even be working.
i'm anticipating see where i really work and what i really do for my job.
maybe after that i'll feel a lot less stress and anxiety and everything!

i have so many mixed emotions about this job
and it's seriously affecting me physically, emotionally, and mentally.
at my old job i was always on my feet and i was okay with that.
now i'm always sitting for 8 hours a day and i already had back problems, it's getting a lot worse now. :(
i'm very happy about being out of retail {thank goodness!}, but now i'm always stressed.
and my boyfriend and i are also trying to get used to such change
in our schedules and lives in general,
he seems to like it...
as for myself...
it isn't horrible but i don't think i love it too much... yet...
i'm also really tired after work now that i feel some of my hobbies are slipping away from me.
i knew the struggle to get somewhere in this not-so-fabulous life wasn't going to be easy.
but really?! come on! i wish i had some kind of warning or something!!
i'm so far beyond my comfort zone i
can't even sleep at night.
i hope everything will get better. i'm supposed to be going to my real workplace tuesday.
until then... i will pep talk myself to keep going.
to do this for us. for you chris. you work hard for me. it's time to do it for you.
i see a small sliver of light in the darkness. i'll keep running toward it. for you.


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