half of my heart

lately, i've only been putting half of myself into everything.
work, relationship, my own happiness, life.

i don't mean half-assed, half-assed is laziness and that's
the one thing i'm trying not to be anymore.
what i mean is... i want to put all of my heart into something
but i find that i'm not 100%, i'm only 50% involved.

i've always had really big dreams and i guess i still haven't
gotten to my goals and dreams... so my faith in myself is fading.
i don't want to give up but i just can't find it in me to fight anymore.
i've given my all before. i just wasted so much of my time.
i'm getting older, i guess i don't want to waste any more potential.
but why hold on to it and really waste it.

i think it's also the fact that i have almost nothing that i'm good at,
i don't really have a lot of friends, my boyfriend gets sick of me, etc.
so that's half of my personality that's unsatisfactory.
there are so many things that i'm striving for but only 50% of me is invested.
and the other 50% says to stay where i'm comfortable...

when will i win this battle with myself?