30 April 2013

not so good at the whole friendship thing

i've never been good at being someone's friend.
maybe that's the reason why i can't
really say i have all that many.

it's not so much me as a person, but more like
it's always me that has to initiate conversation
and it's always me that has to suggest something.
i know. i know it sounds so selfish.

it's so true though... i want to be the one invited
sometimes
and i want to be the one who is relaxed
and waiting for someone to talk to me first.

i've never truly ever kept a friend. we're all sort
of just acquaintances now
, we just say hi when we see each
other and converse through social media, that's it.

i don't know. maybe it's the whole 'going out and
partying' that i've messed up on.
is that what i need
to do in order to keep a friend? but why does it always have
to resort to that kind of thing? why can't we have
lunch or something?
it's not exactly fun but it is something.

i do wish i did have a best friend. really.
it feels like such an important part of a woman's life.

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